Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Coming home to myself

My yoga practice tonight was so satisfying. I've been doing almost exclusively primary series for maybe a month now, or a little less. I tried this before and got really tired/bored, but for some reason this time it's working for me really well. The minute my Deep Focus music turns on and my hair ties back and my Paws go on I find myself sinking into the routine of stillness. (The music helps a lot I think, it's a good station, with lots of movement but little distraction.)

I find myself so incomparably grateful for all the things my body can do and where my life has brought me to. I'm on my period, which is in and of itself a sheer miracle. And it hasn't been too messy this time. It's just...working. My body is just doing what it's supposed to do. And I could smell it a little, which could be gross but mostly is just very earthy. It smells like a body. I thought about all the hours and days I was starving, all the hours and days I felt unsafe and ungrounded in my body, all the hours and days when breathing was hard and speaking was even harder. And I feel so grateful to be landing in this soft space of yoga, where I'm just in my body in almost every way imaginable. Where I just finished cooking and eating a meal, where I came home twitchy and on edge but have learned how to sink back into myself. In this place where I let myself sleep enough and eat enough and spend enough. Whatever I need to take care of myself. It can seem so fluffy, this self-care thing. But it's the foundation for everything that comes after.

(Also, I just love Prasarita Padottanasana. I don't know why! The loveliest of poses.)

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