Year 3 / Camel pose breakthrough

For some reason the last couple of days I've just had a major yoga breakthrough. For the first time I just GOT camel pose. that's always been one of my absolute hardest poses, I just hate doing it, I feel like my neck is gonna break, but the other day I just leaned back and...did it! obviously it wasn't perfect form, but it's closer than i've ever gotten before. I had just decided to get on my mat and do my own spontaneous sequence and that's when I did it. I tried it again tonight and I think it had at least in part to do with where I put my shoulder blades, cuz I could actually switch back and forth between my old (ineffective) way of doing it and my new ability. I think it was also a little bit mindset--the fact that I was just doing whatever, doing whatever felt good, and also I was chanting om gam ganapataye namaha while I practiced.... now that is a powerful chant.

A litttle later in my practice that day of the magical camel pose, brimming with possibility and the overcoming of obstacles, I decided to go up on the wall for a bit in handstand practice. And then I did head stand! again.....not a perfect head stand. I'm not sure my head was on the floor. And I was totally leaning against the wall. But my shoulders were done and my feet were up and I suddenly felt how one could stay UP in that pose for a while. man, it feels good.

Tonight I was doing, I don't even know what you call it, but legs spread and head down pose, whatever, it's one of my favorite poses, and I was leaning forward and back to put my weight alternatively on my hands and my heels, and I suddenly felt, there, how one might move into headstand from that pose. my arms need to get a little closer to the floor.... I just love this feeling right now of everything being possible. and I think, well, I needed these two years of practicing with a lot of teachers to know what the poses are and what alignments one is looking for and what order to do things in and so on. (and believe me, I still need teachers.) but I'm loving this place where I feel confident enough in my yoga knowledge to branch out on my own. and it also shows me the value of not pushing myself further than I know, deep inside, I can go.

"practice, and all is forthcoming."